Friday, August 10, 2012

The Headstand and the Ego

and How the Headstand Conquered the Ego

A couple of days ago I got some frustrating news. I thought by taking the time to sleep it off and waking up with a fresh attitude would help. It didn't. I walked into my yoga session frustrated. That frustration channeled into my poses and my breathing. My teacher kept on telling the class that the ujjayi can be deeper, but I'm pretty sure that it was directed towards me without putting me on blast in front of the class. I didn't care. I didn't listen.

Instead, I chose to listen to the chatter that was going on in my head. I chose to cheat myself out of a hour and a half brain chatter free time. I chose to become caught up with what was going on outside of the studio instead of focusing on doing something great for myself.

It was pretty funny when my brain chatter stopped long enough for me to realize that I wasn't focusing on my breath or my poses. In turn, I got more frustrated and the chatter got louder.

My negative energy could be seen when I was about to enter my headstand. Instead of slowly, gracefully prepping with a dolphin then folding over into a headstand, I charged into it.

Of course I wasn't successful my first attempt, second attempt, or third attempt. Finally, my teacher ordered me to the ground so she could demo the entrance into the headstand. After watching my teacher, I finally calmed down enough to safely enter into a headstand.

The magic of the headstand is that it immediately silences any brain chatter that goes on. This pose requires so much focus that brain chatter has to go.

I didn't know how much relief I would get from this headstand. How finally everything became quiet, still, and clear. It only took me 45 minutes to get there, but at least I got there.

I know that the practice is going to be different from day to day. My body is going to feel different, but what frustrated me was that I cheated myself out of that calm. Not being as bendy the day before I can deal with, but I can't deal with the consistent brain chatter. If it takes a headstand to put the brain chatter to rest, then a headstand a day is exactly what the doctor ordered. 

No comments:

Post a Comment