Saturday, September 15, 2012

Falsities

How it Affects our Point of View 


The mind is easily engulfed in aviyda, which in English, can be translated into misconception. Aviyda, is described in four different branches: 1) the ego; 2) greed; 3) hatred; 4) fear.

In his book The Heart of Yoga: Developing a Personal Practice T.K.V. Desikachar explains that we start yoga to break away the bonds that aviyda has on our minds and souls. That once we can see something clearly and correctly, there is a deep peace within us. 

We all start yoga for a reason. It can be physical, it can be mental, it can be spiritual.. a reason that is so profound and meaningful that a lot of times we can't even speak about it since that is how dear it is to us. The reason I give people on why I started yoga is to rehab my knee. The real reason that I started yoga is to find mental peace. 

Not that I'm one breath from the mental institute, but I was getting tired of all the built of anxiety, resentment, and stress. It was something that I was completely ashamed of and defensive about when anyone tried to talk to me about it. So ashamed that I had to have an easy reason to give people on why I started yoga. 

Yoga changed all that. I feel such a peace that I have not known my entire life after only practicing for two months. Just being able to calm my mind so that I can focus my thoughts and being able to concentrate on what I'm feeling. My mind was completely smothered with aviyda, like how you would smother your pancakes with syrup. The thick stickiness of aviyda is hard to break through and it fights to keep its grip. 

I know when avidya is trying to regain control. I can actually feel the presence of it and feel the energy change within me. It's a really strange sensation when your entire being feels avidya and is battling to keep it at bay. I know how misconception can change my entire perspective and I fought tooth and nail to get away from its' chains. There is no way in hell am I going to let that happen to me again. I am going to keep on breaking away, one breath at a time. 

Saturday, September 8, 2012

30 Day Challenge

I went into this challenge knowing and anticipating the physical, mental, and spiritual changes. What I didn't anticipate was intensity of the magnitude of these changes.

Physically, my limbs were becoming more defined and I regained flexibility that I thought was long gone. Of course my abs are getting whipped into shape from all the sets of boat poses and other fun abs burning poses. I didn't drop any weight, but I fit into my clothes better. What blew me away was the changes I experienced mentally. 

I am a type A perpetual planner/worrier. Not something I'm proud of, but hey, at least I can admit it. What yoga did for me and is continuing to do for me is to slow my mind down. It helps me with my anxiety and it helps me stop stressing over the trivial bull so that I can see the bigger picture. When I get stressed out or something pisses me off, I am able to step back from the situation and take a breath. I don't want to say comebacks and be defensive when people are rude to me because it doesn't matter anymore. Why should I let my day get ruined because someone else wants to bring me down to their energy level? It makes me be grateful that I'm able to wake up in the morning and that I'm on this side of the ground. Everything else can be handled with time and thought. Spirituality has a lot to do with me being able to relinquish control. 

Three times in meditation I saw a glimpse of something so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. It gave me the courage to not be afraid. It gave me the courage to trust and to believe in myself. It reminded me that I don't know everything, but it's okay because I will one day. It's continuing to teach me that even though the world can be a scary place, I can still hold my head high as I walk through it. 

The most important thing that I learned is: one day at a time.